{"product_id":"the-art-of-almost-losing-it-paperback-by-alina-jacobs","title":"The Art of Almost Losing it (paperback) by Alina Jacobs","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-bold\"\u003eThere comes a time in every almost-thirty-year-old woman’s life when getting kidnapped off the street is preferable to admitting that the hot, rich boyfriend you’ve been bragging about for months does not, in fact, exist.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003eYes, it’s terrifying being stuffed in the trunk of a Mercedes, but I would rather be locked in a stranger’s penthouse than sleeping on the floor of my parents’ apartment like the loser daughter I am.\u003cbr\u003eHonestly?\u003cbr\u003eIt’s nice to get some alone time. And my own bathroom.\u003cbr\u003eHe bribes me with money not to call the police.\u003cbr\u003eI scream at him for forcing me to go to brunch as his prisoner at the hottest restaurant in New York.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNow everyone in my parents’ aggressively posh Manhattan neighborhood thinks we’re dating.\u003cbr\u003eBuckle up, buddy.\u003cbr\u003eI have a full wedding itinerary to attend, and congratulations—you’re my fake boyfriend.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eUnfortunately, my kidnapper is the worst fake boyfriend in the history of fake boyfriends.\u003cbr\u003eHe’s mean.\u003cbr\u003eAloof.\u003cbr\u003eEmotionally unavailable.\u003cbr\u003eAnd deeply offended by how much time I spend on my phone.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMeanwhile, I’m trying to ignore how yummy he smells, all muscular and tall as he fumes next to me in bed, furious because I asked him when the sexy portion of the kidnapping is going to happen.\u003cbr\u003eIt’s a fair question, though, right?!? I thought kidnapping came with benefits!\u003cbr\u003eGuess my kidnapper didn’t want me that much after all.\u003cbr\u003eMen lying about their desire for a relationship. Story of my life.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eNow I’m trapped.\u003cbr\u003eHe’s miserable.\u003cbr\u003eAnd somehow, this is starting to feel dangerously like a relationship.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-italic\"\u003eThis is a standalone spicy Rom Com, HEA guaranteed! Takeout is clandestinely ordered, someone gets a black eye from a magic dildo, and sexy kidnappers deeply regret their actions. You do not need to read the other books in the series to LOL with this one!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Ingram","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48550669091057,"sku":null,"price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0305\/9757\/8890\/files\/artofalmost.jpg?v=1786653013","url":"https:\/\/shopsouthandpine.com\/products\/the-art-of-almost-losing-it-paperback-by-alina-jacobs","provider":"South \u0026 Pine and Blue Apple Books","version":"1.0","type":"link"}